My Solution for "Feet Draggers"

So, you're at a craft show, and the people in front of you are moving so slowly that you're going to start tearing your hair out any second. My solution? My 18 inch wood auger and my hammer drill. Yessir, get's 'em movin' every time!

Today I'm busy killing time at a show, another snoozer, and I decide it's time to road trip to the toidy. What should be a 15 second walk turns into 2 minutes. The ladies in front of me not only just about have it in reverse they're moving so slowly, but they're weaving back and forth from one side of the aisle to the other. I fake to the left, but, too late - they've already moved for the block. I dodge to the right - um, it's a split defense now, so I go for the middle and BAM! I've got to back off or risk running one of 'em into an innocent crafter's booth display. It wouldn't be pretty. I have conceded to the shoppers. I must follow behind, hopping along with my legs crossed, all the while wondering how much of my booth will be hijacked while I'm gone.

Now, here's the rub. I'm complaining up a storm, at least in my head, because the shoppers are cruisin' in low and I gotta go. What do I do when I'm sitting in my booth watching the shoppers motor by lickity split without glancing in either direction? I complain that they're moving too fast and not only not buying, but not even looking! How dare they! Don't they know what they're missing? Apparently not.

The moral to my story is that I need to be happy those two ladies were moving slowly enough to take in all the great things at the show, and I need to leave for the bathroom a lot sooner. Take your time shoppers! Big dopes like me are actually grateful you're taking the time to look.