Winter Wonderland? Oh, Please!

This is my house. This is my house in winter. This is my house in the snow in winter. This is my house in which I live. This is my house in which I live and in which I am wondering what could be so bad about global warming if I didn't have to deal with this frigid white crap anymore?

What do I usually do when the snow piles up and the icicles are hanging from the roof like giant daggers just waiting to fall and impale some unsuspecting visitor? I descend into the pit and work. I embed tiny creatures in gooey resin and stick a bunch of even tinier animal buddies in the goo around them so they won't be lonely. And I begin to relax and refocus. But not this winter. Not this long, cruel winter of unending white stuff falling from the sky. No, this winter I chop endless fat pieces of wood into endless skinny pieces of wood so we can be warm and cozy without owing the propane company our first born. I balance precariously on my roof, shoveling huge amounts of the dreaded white stuff off so the white stuff stays out of our bedroom. I spend hours viciously hacking away at the obnoxiously large blocks of ice that have frozen at the edge of that same roof. Then I find that some of those spiky ice daggers have melted and found a way to squeeze their liquid selves into the wires connecting the fire place blower to it's switch, rendering it - and my primary heat source - useless.

My husband and I will be retiring in just a couple of years. I used to be a great believer in "home is where the heart is". I have become a greater believer in "home is where the snow - ain't."

Here's wishing you all a blissfully short winter.

Best regards,

Kathy
http://nnlamps.com

My Solution for "Feet Draggers"

So, you're at a craft show, and the people in front of you are moving so slowly that you're going to start tearing your hair out any second. My solution? My 18 inch wood auger and my hammer drill. Yessir, get's 'em movin' every time!

Today I'm busy killing time at a show, another snoozer, and I decide it's time to road trip to the toidy. What should be a 15 second walk turns into 2 minutes. The ladies in front of me not only just about have it in reverse they're moving so slowly, but they're weaving back and forth from one side of the aisle to the other. I fake to the left, but, too late - they've already moved for the block. I dodge to the right - um, it's a split defense now, so I go for the middle and BAM! I've got to back off or risk running one of 'em into an innocent crafter's booth display. It wouldn't be pretty. I have conceded to the shoppers. I must follow behind, hopping along with my legs crossed, all the while wondering how much of my booth will be hijacked while I'm gone.

Now, here's the rub. I'm complaining up a storm, at least in my head, because the shoppers are cruisin' in low and I gotta go. What do I do when I'm sitting in my booth watching the shoppers motor by lickity split without glancing in either direction? I complain that they're moving too fast and not only not buying, but not even looking! How dare they! Don't they know what they're missing? Apparently not.

The moral to my story is that I need to be happy those two ladies were moving slowly enough to take in all the great things at the show, and I need to leave for the bathroom a lot sooner. Take your time shoppers! Big dopes like me are actually grateful you're taking the time to look.

Multi Tasking - A Crafter's Best Friend

It may not seem so, but my lovely daughter's in this photo are multi tasking. How, you ask? They are getting plastered and pissing mommy off all at the same time. My guess is, at the point this picture was taken they wouldn't be capable of taking on any more tasks than the two I mentioned. So, if even these two inebriated party animals can multi task, you can, too!

Most of us who work out of our homes run into the same problem - interruptions. The phone rings. Unexpected visitors. Laundry. Repair people, like for appliances or crappy cable reception show up. Kid misses the bus. Husband decides to help out by cleaning the kitchen. Oh, my. "Kath, where's the broom?" Really? How about in the same spot it's been for the last 20 years or so. The first time he's used it, perhaps? Um, yeah, something like that.

Because of the numerous interruptions and generally not being taken seriously because, after all, I don't have a "real" job, I have established the "temporarily deceased" rule. If I'm working, I'm dead. I do not exist on the planet. If the kid missed the bus, I guess he's going to stay a little later and take the late bus home. Don't call me. Temporarily deceased people cannot answer phones and they certainly cannot operate motor vehicles. Break something, need to clean up a mess? I'll just bet you can find the broom all by your lonesome. Drop half of dinner (which hubby does cook, btw) all over the kitchen floor? Let the dogs clean it up, then I won't have to mop. Internet not working? Plug in the stinking router/modem thingees or whatever, duh. Cable not working? Unplug the box an reset it. If that doesn't work, curse the cable company very loudly. You won't have TV but you'll feel better.

When I ascend from "the pit", covered with sticky resin and obnoxious resin dust, fingers streaked with dye, or in the case of a power tool accident, fingers missing, then you'll know I am again fair game and no longer temporarily deceased. Temporarily insane maybe, but alive. Who are we kidding? Permanently insane. Anyone who does this for a living is a whack job.

So, fellow whackadoos, happy crafting and here's to a prosperous holiday season!

Regards,

Kathy
http://nnlamps.com

Not Nice to Piss Off Momma Tiger

We all know it's true that when someone picks on our kid, us mom's turn into a tigress, just like my innocent looking little lamp shown above. It's all good until some bully gets in your kid's face and won't stop. It seems the coach and administrators are oblivious because they can't hear the insults being screamed across the field at my son by a spoiled rotten kid who seems to think he is the KEY player on the field. And this young man, unbelievably, is a captain. Yikes. In actuality, there are no key players on this team because the team pretty much sucks thanks to less than stellar coaching, lack of discipline, and really crappy attitudes on the field. I have promised my son to keep my nose out of it and not pursue this problem because as we are all aware, actually trying to do something about the situation often makes it worse. So I'm going to watch and listen closely. For the first time, I have found myself encouraging one of my children to quit walking away and plant this kid on his ass on the cold, wet ground. My son is a pacifist. We have taught all three of our kids to walk away from trouble unless someone is physically threatening you because it's better to be the bigger person. Well, uh uh. No more. There comes a time when things are carried too far and you must make it known that you're not taking any one's crap any more, especially from a self absorbed, conceited, self appointed superstar. Done.

What really kills me about this kid is that he gives 110% as far as his actual play goes. He gives everything he's got to help his team, and then yet, finds it necessary to put others down and run his mouth. And he's a captian, for gawd's sake! I don't get it, I really don't. Sounds like a self esteem problem to me, but I'm not psychologist. The fact that the coach of this team is not very knowledgeable about the game itself, and seriously, cannot tell talent from just wailing on the ball, who cannot tell the difference between aggressive play and dirty play, and does not realize that players running all over the field like a bunch of lunatics instead of playing their positions leads to chaos, not success, does not help the situation. The fact that the rules are changed as to what discipline is given to those who miss practice or games to accommodate the coach's favorite players is, to say the least, disheartening. I would not care if my son sat on the bench for the whole season if he and several others were treated fairly and the coaches in this program would deal with the rotten attitudes of those who deem themselves so superior that they have the right to run their mouths at team mates. What has happened to discipline? What has happened to respect? What has happened to coaches who realize a sports team is NOT a democracy? You are a coach for a reason! Grow a pair and set these kids straight! And for the record, I have coached, played, reffed the game in question, soccer, for over 25 years. I know a tad about it. I just wish my son were not involved at all because anything I say is just going to be taken as an overprotective mom babying her little boy. Sooooooo not the case, but it will surely be taken as such. So, as I said before, I will watch and listen closely and let my son handle it. If it gets out of hand, watch out for the tigress.

On that note, happy crafting, fellow tigresses!

Kathy

Feast or Famine - What Gives?

Someone please explain to me why it is so darn impossible to have a clue whether a craft show will be a success or a major flop! What a whopping pain in the butt!

Last weekend I was at a show that I thought I would be lucky to make expenses. As it turns out, I made nine times my booth fee! Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit, there was nobody more surprised than I! Now, this weekend, which, granted, isn't over yet, is a total bust. Three sales all day, and I get to go back and have more fun tomorrow. My butt has blisters on it from being planted in my chair all day. (Are we catching on to the "butt" theme yet?) Ordinarily I'd say the customer's butt's were at home happily watching football, but in fact, their were plenty of butts in motion - walking right on by my booth and everyone elses. Lots of people, but that dreaded, tell-tale sign was evident...no one was carrying a bag. Seriously - nobody. I thought it was just my imagination until two other crafters asked if I'd noticed. Um, yup.

So, the moral to my story/rant. I don't have one. Just wondered if any of you have found a way around the pain in the butt problem of totally unpredictable sales when we all need a bit of predictability in our lives. Jeesh.

Best regards,

Kathy
http://nnlamps.com

RAIN!! I Mean SERIOUSLY!!

Hard to believe these photos are of the same person, but indeed, they are. This is my oldest daughter, Kira. What does this have to do with rain? The photo on the top is just her normal every day self, except she's a little skinnier and has a tad shorter hair now. Well, the photo on the bottom was taken after a little "lake effect" rain and a ride around the yard on the ATV. Ever hear of the infamous "104 corridor" in upstate New York? I live on Route 104. I AM the 104 corridor. We've been on the news a few times, once a couple of years ago for getting seven feet (yes, that's 7) of lake effect snow in less than two (yes, that's 2) days. Now, this weekend we're getting good ol' lake effect once again, but this time in the form of rain. It's been beautiful all week, but apparently Lake Ontario knows that we all want to be at Oswego Speedway watching the most prestigious race of Supermodifieds in the country, so, um, no, it's gonna rain. And check this out. I can walk 1/2 to 1 mile to the north or the south and literally walk right out of the rain. There are places where I can stand with one foot in the rain on wet pavement and the other foot on dry pavement - no rain. It is totally bizarre. And frankly, it's pissin' me off right about now.

In order to calm my ruffled nerves and sooth the savage beast currently living within my usually civilized inner being, I will descend into "the pit", where I will create lamps of untold beauty and tranquility. Whatever. I'm really going to vent a little steam by whipping my resin into a frothy frenzy and throwing rocks into it from the top of the basement stairs. Who knows, maybe I'll create my most incredible masterpiece. Or maybe the resin will just splash all over the place and stick to every power tool I own, thus rendering them useless and leaving me to ponder the question "does life suck or not today?" You figure it out. Jeez.

Happy crafting,

Kathy
http://nnlamps.com

Why Do I Wait Until the Last Minute!?!!?

OK, so I have a bezillion weeks to get ready for show season, which for me is late August through the middle of December. So what do I do? I paint my living room. I paint and redecorate the guest room. I paint and redecorate the office. I clean the basement. I clean the garage. I put in a new floor in the upstairs bathroom. I put in a new floor in the master bedroom. I make new kitchen counters out of resin and put up a new back splash. I paint the kitchen and put in new trim. What do I NOT do? I do not make lamps. I do not increase my stock so I'm not loosing my mind for the next 4 months trying to keep up. I do not go down to my shop in the basement (affectionately known as "the pit") and pour resin. I do not cut driftwood for sanding and wiring. I don't print more business cards or update my show schedule. I forget to update my website, (which I just did, actually), http://nnlamps.com. In other words, I royally screw myself.

So now, I shall descend into "the pit", not to be seen until a couple of days before Christmas. Unless I have a show, of course, in which case I will make myself crazy trying to get my act together long enough to make some cash. Why do I do this! Why! That's not even a rhetorical question. It's just an incredulous outburst at myself. Poor time management is one reason, for sure. The inability to say "NO!" when I really need to. Functioning under the misguided notion that once I finish all my projects I'll be able to concentrate on my business. Oh, paaallleeeeeze! I will never finish all of my projects because there will always be just one more project! Duh!

So, tell me I'm not alone. Or am I? Am I the only one who does this? Selfishly, I hope not. Misery loves company. If any of you talented, crafty people can possibly shed some light on how to stay focused, I would sure appreciate it. In the meantime, keep your nose to the grindstone and all that crapola. I shall try to do the same.

Happy crafting,

Kathy
http://nnlamps.com